Nikki Rose REDO
by addicted2svu2010
Summary: Nikki needed a change. She wasn't safe where she was. Her Aunt Liv was letting her come live with her. But what she don't know is everything she has endured. When it all comes out, can her aunt save her from destruction. Wrn: Eating Disorder & Self-Injury
1. She Arrives

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters Dick Wolf does. In this story I only own Nikki.

Warning: Eating Disorder and Mentions of Sexaul Abuse

This is a Redo Of this story instead of droping it like a Hot Cake!

Nikki was leaving California. This was to her and sence of relief, a breath of fresh air. She couldn't deal with living in her home situation anymore, it was all becoming way to much for her. She was sad she was leaving all her friends behind, but she was more relieved to know that she would be safe now. Away from her abusive step-father.

As she boarded the airplane she sighed. All she could think about is how much her life was about to change, but for the best. She knew she had so many inner deamons that she had to fight. Only problem was that her aunt had know idea what she had been going through, she was to scared and ashamed. She felt as if no one would believe her. Before she knew it she felt tears trickle down her face. She didn't want anyone to see her like this. She walked as quickly as she could to the restroom on the plane. She curled up in a ball, all she wanted was for all this hurt she bared to just go away. She wished so bad for somewhere to turn, but there was nowhere.

She reached down in her purse and found an old friend, one she found comfort in. She rolled up her pant leg and gently glided the glistening blade across her flesh. The blood trickled down her leg. She sat there for just a moment and finally she could breath again, just for that moment.

Nikki cleaned up her leg and bandaged it up. When she stood up and looked in the mirror all she wanted to do was shatter the mirror as she stared at her reflection. All she could think is "I hate you, your worthless, and your never going to amount to anything so why are you even trying."

Before she walked out she cleaned herself up. As she walked out she felt as everyone was staring at her as if they knew everything, like she wore it on her sleeves. She felt so conscious as she walked back to her seat.

She buckled herself in as they prepared for take off. As they got up in the air, when she was finally able to take the belt off she relaxed back and stared out the window. She started to day dream. She dreamed of the day when everything would be ok. She dreamed of a day when she could be happy again and be that same bubbly bright outgoing girl she used to know. That all seemed so far away as if it where never going to happen.

Before she even realized it she had drifted off into an immersed sleep.

Nikki started having a nitemare. Something she had started to become all used to, she wished so badly that she didn't have that to look forward every time she closed her eyes. She could feel herself moving back in forth in the seat, but she couldn't wake up.

Her step-father had her held down. She was screaming for help, but no one could hear her. He was molesting her all over again. It was all to real. His hands where all over her body. Touching her and grasping her. Tears where glistening down her face as they start to flow harder and harder. "Please stop" "STOP!" "STOP!"

Before she knew it screeched really loud. And her eyes flew open. She noticed everyone was staring at her. She felt so concious and just wanted to disappear. She could feel her face turning red. She felt a sence of relief when they anounced that they would be landing shortly. She put her buckle on as they prepared to land.

She had actually never felt so happy to get off the plane...

As she made her way into the airport lobby, she has seen her aunt. For once she was actually able to put a smile on her face and mean it.

"Aunt Liv"

"Hey sweetie, its so good to see you!"

Nikki embraced her hug. She didn't want to let go, she finally felt like for once she was safe.

"Why don't we get out of here?"

"Sound's good to me"

They made there way out to the car, and took off.

"So Nik, we are going to head to dinner. You are going to get to meet some of my coworkers. I hope you like Chinese."

"Yah, it's good, love it actually."

"Awsome"

What her aunt didn't know is that she may be eating but she had no plans to keep it. There was no was no way she would let herself...


	2. I Don't Want to Be Me

As they arrived at the restraunt Nikki's nerves began to rise. She wasn't one for being able to eat infront of people. Her eating disorder had destroyed every ounce of that. She finds guilt and shame everytime food touches her lifeless lips.

As they walked through the door she could feel her heart pounding so hard, it was almost like it was going to come out of her chest.

"Nik, this way. Hey everyone"

Rollins spoke up. "Hey Liv"

"Hey Amanda, everyone this is my niece Nikki."

"Nik, nice to meet you" they all said in sequence.

As they took their seat, it felt as if she was going to have an anxiety attck. She couldn't believe food had this much control over her life.

"Hey how are you all doing tonight? What can I get for you to drink?"

Nikki asked for Diet Coke, it always made it that much easier to purge, the rest of the gang got regular Cokes.

As Nikki got up to go get her plate of food, it was like someone had just supplied her and the buffet was her drug dealer. She passed by and stacked her plate high.

When they got back to the table, she felt like everyone was judging her. Thoughts where racing through her head. "Look at yourself, your nothing but a slob and a disgusting pig. You know they think your fat! They are watching you as you put every morrsal in you mouth."

She broke her train of thought when Fin spoke up. She didn't realize how deep she was when he had to say her name 3 times.

"Ugh, Nikki are you okay?"

"Yah sry was deep in my own thoughts, what where you saying?"

He looked at her with a concerened expression.

"I was saying how do you like the city from what you have seen so far"

"I love it. Im so excited to be able to start a new life here."

"Well baby girl, there is a lot to do here, gaurenteed you will never not have anything to do."

"Thats a good thing to hear."

Nikki was starting to get full she had gordged herself. She was starting to get antsy. She knew the only thing she could think about was getting rid of it. All of it. Wipe away all the shame and guilt.

"Um, I will be right back, gots to potty." She smiled half heartedly

She got up from the table, and made sure no one was following her. She was very pleased when she seen it was a single bathroom. She walked in and locked the door behind her.

Nik looked in the mirror, "Look at yourself, your pitiful. You desearve this." She walked over to the toilet, and purged. All the emotions and pain where gone for that moment, it was a release. She could breath again.

As she stared down at the toilet she smirked and thought, "One day I will be thin enough. Just the bones, no disfiguring flesh. Just the pure clear shape of me, bones. That is what we all are, what we're made up of and everything else is just storage, deposit, waste. Strip it away, use it up."

She flushed it all away, everything was gone. She was pure again. She walked over to the sink and rinsed her mouth out, washed up and made sure there was no sight or evidence of what she had done.

Nikki had gotten so good at her game she knew all the right things to say and exactly how to hide it.

She made her way out of the bathroom and back to the table.

"Nik, you about ready to go."

"Yea, I am."

Rollins got up with them, she was going to stay the night with her hunny.

"You ready to go babe?"

"Sure am."

They walked out the door.

The cold air hit Nikki. She thought about if she stayed out here all night with no coat, with only a tank top and shorts. How numb she could be. Slowly die and fade away from the freeze. She could just dissipate into nothing, she thought no one would care. I am just a useless peace of furniture in peoples lives.

They got into the car and drove home. She hooked up her Ipod and blared in her ears. She turned on Amanda Clemens- I Don't Want To Be Me.

As the song went on tears started slipping out of her eyes. She tried to dry them up she didn't want neither of them to see her. She didn't want her aunt to know yet what she had went through. She just wasn't ready.

She hated it. The thoughts and memorys started playing in her head of what he did to her.

All the time he felt on her, held her down, and detroyed every ounce of dignity she had.

"Nikki, where here."

She bounced back out of trance the best she could. All she wanted to do was get inside and lock herself in her new room.

They all walked upstairs to her apartment. Liv got out the key and they walked in.

"So let me give you the grand tour."

Liv looked a little worried though, she was really good at telling when someone had been crying. She could see the little redness in her eyes. She didn't really want to say anything. She knew when Nik was ready she would come to her.

"So here is the kitchen, over to this way is the living room." The walked down the hall. "Over here is the restroom. To the left is your room and to the right is mine."

"Amazing, I love it. Aunt Liv, I am going to go hang out in my room for a bit."

"Thats fine we will be in the living room watching tv if you need anything."

Nikki walked into her bedroom. Finally atlast I am alone. She went and sat on the floor and brought her glistening best friend out. She made sure her door was locked first. She rolled her pant leg up and started slashing away at her skin like it was butter. She started to cry harder and harder. All she wanted to do is erase all the memorys that where flooding every ounce of her head. When she was done slicing herself she looked at the damage she had done. She honestly didn't even care. She made sure she cleaned them up and got rid of anything she used that was bloody.

She walked over to the large mirror and stared at herself. Pointing out everything that was wrong. All she wanted to do was to shatter the mirror to match her broken reflection.

"Amanda I am going to go check on Nikki"

"Okay sweetie."

Liv walked back to her bedroom.

"Can I come in?"

Shit she thought, "give me a second."

She hurried and changed her clothes. To make it look like her door was locked for a reason.

When Liv came in she noticed her eyes where puffy and red.

"Sweetie are you okay."

"Umm.. Yea Im just really happy to be here, just overwhelmed." She lied...

"Im so excited that you are with me, why don't you call your mom and dad and let them know you got in safe."

She had no intention of even wanting to call them, the minute she heard his voice on the phone she knew she wouldn't be able to handle it. Liv put her hands on her shoulder near her neck to lean in and give her comfort. Only it made her jump. Her step-father used to touch her neck all the time and try to rub it. Liv noticed and got worried, she had seen signs like this in victims who had been abused, being jumpy. She was just so unsure of what to say to her.

"Um, yeah maybe in the morning im just tired right now."

"Well its the weekend and iv got off, maybe we can do something"

"Yeah that would be great."

"Well I am going to let you get some sleep."

"Love you..", "Love you to sweetie."

Liv walked out and shut her door.

Nikki layed back in her bed and closed her eyes. She wound up in a nightmare. She felt so lifeless and couldn't wake up. She was tossing and turning. He was everywhere. She couldn't get away from it. She shouted "NO! STOP!" And bounced up. She was drenced in sweat.

Liv and Amanda heard her from their room and came running back to her bedroom. Worried something had happend.

"Nikki are you okay, yes Im fine please just go away."

Liv and Amanda knew though that something wasn't right. All they wanted to do was comfort her but wasn't sure just how to approach her.

"Sweetie I am here if you just want to talk, please just know that..."

"Thank-You Aunt Liv."

Nik sighed as she cuddled back into her bed and sighed, she just wanted horrible nightmare life of hers to come to an end.


	3. Slowly Breaking

Nikki woke up the next morning feeling like she had been hit by a semi-truck. She had no desire to even crawl out of bed that day. She felt so lifeless with no energy. She immeditaly got out of bed though. She wanted to hide just how bad she was secretly dying inside. She walked out of her bedroom and made her way to the restroom. She went pee and then stripped herself of her clothes and stepped on the scale...

**119.5** "Shit" She thought thats not small enough . "Why are you so disgusting and worthless!"

She put back on her clothes and stared at her relflection. All she wanted to do was immediatly break down, but she wouldn't allow it.

She walked out of the restroom and slowly made her way to the land of the living.

"Morning"

"Morning sweetie, your aunts in the kitchen making breakfast."

"Otays, smells amazing."

"She really is an exceptional cook."

"Thats good to hear"

"Amanda, Nikki breakfast is ready."

"Okay" They both said in sequence.

They made there way to the kitchen. All she wanted to do is make this meal as painless as possible. All she could think about is "A moment on the lips forever on the hips"

She slowly took her seat not really wanting to be there...

"So how did you sleep last night." Amanda asked to break the scilence.

"Um, well you know better after I calmed down, just a really freaky nightmare."

Aunt Liv chimed in, "So I was thinking maybe we could hit up the mall or maybe go shopping, just have a girls day."

"Yah that sounds good to me"

They finished up breakfast. "Well I think ima go head and get ready take a shower and what not Aunt Liv."

"Okay sweetie'

Nikki went and picked out an outfit and immediatly went to the restroom as quick as she could. She had a one train thought. "Get rid of it as quick as possible before its forever on your hips."

She locked the door behind her and turned on the shower before she purged to drown out the noise just incase.

She leaned over and it immeditly flowed out of her so freely. She once again felt so pure. Nothing else matter in that moment. She made sure not to look at her self in the mirror though with nothing on. Her reflection disgusted her so bad it made her cry. She hoped in the shower. She stared down at her legs and traced the cuts on her theighs. Remebering what everyone was for. That one was from the first time her step-dad came in her room and held her by her wrist asking to play with her. Because it wasn't like he hadn't dont it before. The other one was from the time he had her pinned to the gounds trying to move his hand up her short. She felt so helpless and worthless. There where so many more stories behind her cuts, all full of pain and anguish.

She traced her hand over her body and all she felt was fat, it was every where. She started getting angry, upset, and pissed. Before she had time to think about it she punched inside shower wall really hard and made an immense loud noise. "Shit she thought"

"Liv what was that"

"Im not sure let me go check on her, make sure she didnt accidently fall."

Liv hurried back to the bathroom door and knocked.

"Nik, are you okay in there."

"Yes Im fine..." she fumbled for words to make an excuse and quick as she could. "I...I ugh..let me think of something and I will get back to you." She cursed under her breath mad she wasn't able to come up with an excuse to cover her lie. She needed to get back on her game.

"Nikki are you okay."

"Yah everything is fine."

Olivia let it go...But wasn't so sure she shouldn't have.

Nikki got finished with her shower and got dressed. She was a little scare to come out. Her fist was really red and kinda swollen.

She tip toed out at first to see what her Aunt Liv and Amanda where doing. Walking out slowly she crept up behind the couch.

"Hey" she said softly.

"Have a nice shower."

"Um, yah sure did..."

"What happened to your fist?" Amanda kind of had an idea, but would give her a chance.

"Well you see what had happened was..." Liv and Amanda smirked a little, knowing a lie was about to follow...

"I was, well you see funny thing about when taking showers, I was reaching over for the shampoo, and my hand knocked into the wall accidently really hard, clutzy me. It happens"

"Nik, I know you way better than that, I know when you are lying, and the fact that you said See what had happend was didn't really help your case any..."

"I know but see it doesn't hurt to try" She tried to fake smile.

"Why don't you tell me what really happend?"

"Well why don't you to just back off and drop it, sounds like a good idea to me."

Olivia was in shock, she didn't know where this was coming from.

"Nikki!" She yelled

"Well don't come barkin at my door for being honest." With that she walked away and went to her room and locked the door.

She couldn't believe what she had said to her aunt. She was pushing herself away from her also. She hated herself with more than words could describe.

She started screaming and crying. She was in so much pain, more than she could bare. She looked in the mirror and started punching herself in the stomach.

Liv ran back to her room..

"Sweetie please let me in."

"GO AWAY!" She screeched...She wanted to be alone,she wanted to die.

"Please sweetie, I just want to help you. I know something is wrong."

"Theres nothing wrong..." She cried even harder..

"I know you, way more than you think..."

"If I wanted your help and to let you in, I would have told you a long time ago!"

Olivia felt so helpless, she loved Nikki so dearly. She could tell by the pain and anguish in her voice she was hurting so severely.

Amanda came back "Sweetie, I really dont think there is much we can do until she lets us in. I also know right now she is a ticking time bomb ready to go off at any minute."

"I know im just so scared, the way she was crying. How she acts when I even go to touch her. She flinches and she is so jumpy, Iv seen it one to many times in abuse victims. Im really scared thats what happened to her. She is in so much pain right now and I feel so helpless."

Nikki took her razor out and rolled up her pant leg and slashed. Blood drizzeled and dropped down her leg. She was in so much pain.

"Sweetie please, please let me in"

"NO!"

Nikki hurried and tried to clean up her cut. She unlocked her door and tried to run out. Olivia grabbed her arm but she pulled away and ran out the door.

She ran into the park and fell to her knees and cried. Everything was more than she could bare.

Olivia and Amanda both ran out the door to try and find her. They where both worried and paniced. They ran to the park. They seen her under the tree by the water. Cluthing and gasping because she was in so much pain.

Olivia and Amanda ran over to her to try and comfort her. Nikki's immediate response was to get up and get away. But Liv wouldn't allow it this time.

She brought Nikki into her arms and held her tight.

"Please sweetie talk to me."

"I CANT!" She yelled

"Please."

"Just hold me."

Olivia knew something bad had happened to her. She wasn't sure just what yet though.

"Nikki, your scaring me. Im worried about you. Im terrified."

"I will come to you when I am ready but, Im sorry Im just not there yet. I am dealing with it, I promise"

What she didn't know was just how destructively she was dealing with it.

"Atleast you letting me comfort you is a start. Why dont we get out of here and maybe hit up a coffee shop"

"Okay..." She tried to smile

They spent most the afternoon at the coffee shop. Mostly with small talk. Before they knew it they had spent all day there.

They all walked home and Nikki immediatly went to the restroom and did damage control. She turned on the sink to act as if she where washing up. She bent over and immeditaly everything she had just flowed out of her. She stood up and felt relieved.

She turned off the sink, and flushed the toilet. She walked out and went to her room and got dressed for bed. She was ready for this day to end, she wanted it to be over kind of like her life.

Liv came back and said her good nights.

"I love you sweetie, more than words can descirbe."

"I love you to."

Liv and Amanda walked out of the door way and closed it for her.

"I really hope she opens up soon. Iv seen the kind of damage holding everything in can do to a person. Espcially in this field."

"Sweetie, she will when the time is right. For now we both will be there for her. Making sure she is somewhat okay until she opens up."

"Thank-you for being here with me and staying with me through this today"

"That's what Im here for to comfort you and be with you"

They walked to there bedroom and nestled in and snuggled, and fell asleep.

Nikki snuggled under her covers and closed her eyes. She thought to herself "Someone please save me?"

With that she passed out for the night. She was so exahusested and emtionally drained.

Finally the day was over.


	4. Hanging on By a Thread

Nikki woke up, feeling even worse than the day before. She honestly didn't know how much more she would be able to take, keeping everything together. Her life around her was falling apart and she was barely hanging on by a thread. A part of her wanted to scream and shout to anyone who would listen to her, but something was holding her back.

Memory's of the day before started flooding her head. She couldn't believe how much she was loosing it. How can something have so much control over her? How was this possible that this man in her moms life has this much control over her?

She slowly crawled out of bed. She felt like a ton weight was on top of her. It took everything she had to get out of bed. She walked quickly to the restroom. She stripped herself of clothing and stepped on the scale.

118.5

A pound a day she thought...

When she got off she stepped in the shower and turned it on extra hot. She stood there for a moment and let the water beat on her face. She thought for a moment. She had to get out of this house today. Just by herself. She wanted to go pick up supplies. She need new razors along with Diuretics and Laxs.

She stepped out and got ready. She really want to binge today. She thought about stopping at buffet also.

She walked out and went into the living area.

"Morning"

Liv and Amanda turned their head around from the couches.

"Hey sweetie, how are you doing today?" Liv asked.

"I'm okay, thinking about going out and exploring. I was just about to head out."

"Okay sweetie, when you get back, do you want to maybe go to the park, the two of us. Just relax kind of a stress free day."

"Um, sure why not. Well im out. Bye Aunt Liv, Amanda."

Nikki walked out and was determined to find the nearest buffet. She came across Cafe Botanica. She walked in. Her heart was racing, but for her in a good way. She was going to have her sense of high. It was her drug and the buffet is her dealer.

Nikki found a booth way back in the corner no where near anyone.

"What can I get to drink for you?"

"Um, a Diet Coke."

Nikki got up and went to fill her plate. She was on a high and no one could stop her. She went back to her seat and ate and ate. When she was done she went to go get more. This desease had takin over her thinking completely at this moment. Finally until she was could't eat anymore she made her way to the restroom. As she bent over it flowed from her. She purged till no more would come out. As she stood up she got ever so dizzy. She grasped both sides of the stall so she wouldn't fall.

She regained her feeting and walked out of the stall. She didn't care if anyone heard her. All that matter was numbing the pain and feeling and seeing BONES.

She walked out payed her bill and left. She checked the time 11:30. Shit she thought, She hurried to the store to get what she needed. She hoped to god no one from her aunts work would be in the store. That would be a really hard to explain why she has what she does.

She walked through the doors instantly to the isle she needed. She grabbed the box of razors. She could't wait to test them out on her flesh. She proceeded to the medicine isle and picked up her Laxs and Diuretics. On her way out she heard a familiar voice in the other ilse.

Shit! She thought, after a moment she realized who it was. Fin. She wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. As she was walking to get out of the isle she was in, Nikki noticed him walking past the isle. She immediatly flipped around so nothing but her back was showing. Her heart was racing. She had worked so hard to keep her way of coping a secret, she wasn't going to let this one moment be the reason she gets caught. She walked quickly as soon as he passed.

One of the boxes slipped out of her hand because she was in such a hurry and she mutter "Fuck!"

Fin wasnt the far away from her, and recognized the voice.

"Nikki?"

Shit, Shit, Shit she thought. She wanted to act like she couldnt hear him. She tried to keep walking but he said her name even louder. "NIKKI!"

Omg she thought this fuckin fool is going to draw attention to me.

She turned around to make him shut up. "Ohh hey, um im in a hurry. I got to get back, Aunt Liv and I have plans."

He looked down at her hands and seen what she was buying. He looked at her and wasn't sure what to say. He thought for a moment. Before he could say anything. She said bye, and hurried out.

On her walk home she was relieved in a way but worried Fin would say something. Before she walked in she shoved stuff in her purse.

"Hey Aunt Liv, Hey Amanda"

"Hey Sweetie, Since you are back now you want to head to the park?"

"Yah sure I just need to do something real quick"

Nikk walks back to her room and takes out the stuff she got, She opend the Lax and the Diuretics. She tlk multiples of boths. And hid the bottles and trashed the boxes where she didn't think her aunt or amanda would find them.

Before she walks out she does a double take it make sure nothing was out.

"Im ready Aunt Liv."

"Okay, I will be back ina bit Amanda"

Amanda was really happy to see the two of them going to spend time together.

On the walk to the park Nikki didnt really say much. She kinda got lost in her own little world.

When they got there Liv and Nikki layed out the blanket. And both layed down. Nikki rested her head on Liv's lap.

"Aunt Liv."

"Yah"

"I'm really happy that I'm here. I feel safer. I know that I lost it the other day, but I am dealing with a lot and im not sure how to deal."

"Well, Im here for you if you want to talk."

"Im scared."

"How come?"

"Scared you won't believe me...Scared if I let go, that my world is going to fall apart more than it already has. On the inside I feel as if Im hanging on by a thread."

"Nikki, I want to ask you something, Have you ever been..."

Nikki cut her off, know what was next.

"Just forget I said anything. Please..." She pleaded with her.

Liv didn't want to push her to hard. She didn't want her to close up and never talk to her.

"Well when your ready, please come to me. I am here for you and I will listen."

Nikki and Liv spent the rest of the afternoon making small talk. She really enjoyed being with her aunt and knowing that somewhere deep down that it was going to be ok, she just didn't know how yet.

"Well sweetie, you ready to head out before it gets dark?"

"Sure"

The walk home was mostly quiet, they didn't know what to say to each other.

When they got home they smell of the food hit them instantly.

"Babe where home and it smells amazing in here, I didn't know you could cook."

"I am a woman of many talents."

"That you are."

Nikki sat down at the table along with Liv and Amanda. Nikki really wasn't in the mood to eat.

"Um, Im not that hungry right now, I don't feel to well to my stomach." She lied

"Okay sweetie why don't you go lie down."

"Okay"

Nikki walked back to her room and got into her PJ's. She curled up in bed and before she knew it she was out.

Amanda heard her phone go off.

"Amanda."

It was the captain and they had a new case. They where both needed down at the station. They left a note for Nikki in case she woke up.

A few hours later Nikki woke up drenched in sweat. She shot out of bed and ran to the restroom. Her stomach hurt with and immense pain. "Shit she thought, I took too many at once"

She cried out in pain. She was suprised that her aunt and amanda didn't hear here.

When she was done her stomach still hurt but not as bad. She walked out into the living room and no one was there. She found the note they left.

Hmm she wondered no one is home that means I can eat and purge and not get caught.

She ran to the fridge and pulled out her plate and stuffed her face as fast as she could. She didn't even care to taste it. The mintue she was done guilt set in. She ran to the bathroom as quick as she could.

She locked the door behind her and turned on the sink incase they came home. She let it flow like many times before.

Nikki had done it so many times now that she didn't even have to force herself or use her fingers. She just bent over in front of the toilet and it came out. She was proud of this, but in a way she knew she should't.

When she was done she flushed the toilet. Nik walked to the sink and splashed water on her face, and rinsed her mouth out. When she spit she noticed a little bit of blood, but for some reason it didn't scare her. It had happened before. She walked out of the restroom out to the living room. Her throat was feeling kind of raw.

She wanted everything to end. She curled up into a ball on the couch and pulled the cover over her that was there. Just like that from being drained emotionaly and psychically from all the purging she fell alseep.

A few hours late Liv and Amanda walked through the door and noticed Nik on the couch. They wanted to wake her but not alarm her so she could be in her bed.

"Nik, sweetie"

"Please, stop. Don't Touch Me." She mumbled really softly but she could make it out.

"Amanda, I think she is having another bad dream."

Her thoughts where confermed when her legs started moving around.

Amanda went up to her "Nik, Hunny. Get up Sweetie."

"NO!" She screamed and shot up like a fire cracker.

Her arms started flying every where.

"Nikki, Nikki. Calm down sweetie it's just me."

Niks breathing start going back to normal.

"It seemed so real."

She curled up into her Aunts arms and held on tightly.

"Its going to be okay sweetie, I promise."

Liv and Amanda looked at each other as their concern grew for Nikki. They knew deep down that she had been abused but didn't want to come out and say it.

As Nikki cried Liv held onto her.

"Why don't we head back to your room so your not on the couch all night, I know its not that comfortable trust me."

"Okay"

Nikki stumbled. She was still kinda half asleep. Liv help direct her back to the room.

She crawled into bed and wraped the blankets all around her.

"Aunt Liv, please dont go. Stay with me till I fall asleep."

Amanda nodded at her and walked out to set the bedroom up to fall asleep.

As Liv stroked Nikki's hair she instantly fell asleep. She felt safe when her aunt was near her. Like no harm could come.

Liv got out of the bed softly and quietly as she could so she didn't wake her.

She walked into her and Amanda's room.

"Come here cuddle bug." Amanda said

Liv crawled under the cover next to her and cuddled.

"Manda, Im really really worried about Nikki."

"Me to sweetie, Im really worried she is self-distructing and we don't know it."

"I hope we notice in time. I dont ever want anything bad to happen to her again."

"I know sweetie, and I know somewhere deep down apart of her is wanting to open up so badly, but another part is holding her back."

"Well at the park today, she basically told me that she was scared if she did tell me that I wouldn't believe her and she scared of her world falling apart more than it already is. When I went to go ask her if she has ever been abused, she asked me to forget that she ever said anything."

"Well for now as much as I hate it and I know you do to we have to wait and if it gets to out of hand, or we think she is self-distructing, or notice any behavior's we intervene. The only one I have noticed is she excuses herself to the restroom every time we have a meal. Or anytime I see her eat Nikki runs off to the restroom."

"You don't think she is Bulimic do you?"

"I don't know but the signs are there. Lets keep and eye out and if we notice anything else we will confront her."

"I love you"

"I love you to"

Liv and Amanda closed their eyes and fell asleep holding each other sweetly intertwined in each others arms.


	5. AnaMia

I would like to thank Bommiej for helping me with ideas.

Here yew go!

When morning rolled around Nikki was in a sence of relief, she had th house to herself. She got out of bed and trampled around her room. Found an outfit for the day. She made her way into the restroom. She wanted to cut. She stripped down into nothing. She took the razor ever so and slashed it arossed her theigh again and again. She watch as the blood tricked down. All her pain was flowing from the cuts.

She cleaned everything up, made sure there was so evidence left behind to see. She hopped in the shower and let the steaming hot water beat against her skin. She started crying in the shower. Anything lately set her off. She was immensly unstable.

When she was done she stood infront of the mirror she got on the scale

116.5

She was crossed she hated herself.

Goal weight 95.

She got dressed with baggy clothes to try and hide her shrinking figure. She walked out and sat on the couch. She grabbed the house phone to dial her friend in Cali. They where ED buddies.

"Sienna"

"Hey, how are you?"

"Good feeling big as a house."

"I know how you feel, Iv lost 10 pounds since I last seen you. My theighs are epidemic and taking over the world."

"Trust me I know exactly how you feel."

"So how are you holding up though, on a for real note."

"Could be better, been having nightmares...about you know."

"Yah, that asswhole deserves to be locked up for what he did to you."

"I know..."

"Have you talked to anyone about it."

"No, Kinda scared to really."

"How Come?"

"Scared no one will believe me.."

"Hey, I am here for you night and day, don't forget. But I hate to cut this short, I am going to go running. You should to it will be like we are running together but from a distance. Catch you on the net later?"

"I will try, stay strong. Thinner is the winner!"

"Love yah girly"

"Same to you"

Nikki hung up and decided to go running. She got on her jogging shoes and put in her head phone. She was determined to reach her goal weight no matter what it took.

She ran down the street faster and faster. She wound up down by the park near the pond. She sat next to it and started pondering.

"If only this would have never happend. If only I would have said something sooner. If only..."

She hated what she had become, she hated what this had done to her. She used to be so happy.

She ran back to the apartment, when she walked through Amanda was there.

"Ohhh hey your home early, wheres my aunt"

"She is working late on a case."

"Ohhh well, Ima go freshin up. Be out ina bit."

Nikki walked back to her room. Great she thought she is stuck with her till her aunt gets home. It was getting harder and harder to hide it from this witch. She knew Amanda was on to her. Deep down she could feel it.

When she felt ready she came out.

"So, Amanda...How was your work day?"

"Stressful, long. It never gets easier with the things we see day in and day out. Today we had a girl come in, she was being abused by her step-father."

Immediatly Niks heart sank. Memorys started flasing in her head. Her heart started racing. She jumped off the couch and ran to the bathroom.

Hot tears where flowing from her face. She took out her hidden blade. Rolled up her leg and started slashing. She wanted the images to stop.

Amanda ran to the door really worried about her.

"Nikki sweetie, I know your not okay. Please let me in?"

"No, go away. Why do you even care."

"Because I know what its like to be hurting and feeling like your world is crashing around you."

"Your just saying that."

"I really do sweetie."

Nikki hurried and cleaned everything up. Made sure there wasn't a drop of blood around her. She flew out the door and ran to her room.

Amanda decided to giver her some space. She wanted to give her a chance to breath. She remember what it was like to be in that state of mind. She was worried she was self-distructing like she used to.

Nikki calmed down after an hour and poked her head out the door.

"Nik, dinner is ready."

"Okay..."

She walked out. She really wasn't in the mood for eating but wanted to put on a happy face.

"Smells good."

They sat down. Nikki took her fork and was playing with her food. Amanda took notice.

"You want to talk about it."

"Somewhat, part of me but the other half is telling me no."

"How come."

"Like I told aunt liv I am scared, worried. Look Im really not hungry."

"What have you eatin today?"

"Stuff..."

"Like?"

Nik thought of something.

"I got something to eat while you where at work, while I was out running, promise."

"Fine."

"Hey can I used your laptop, I want to get on and talk to a friend from Cali."

"Sure I don't see why not..."

Amanda got the laptop and typed in her password. She left her to be alone to give her some privacy.

She logged on to Facebook and seen Sienna was on. She sent her a link to some new pro ana mia site she had found, also some about SI.

She clicked through them and got lost in it. She didn't realize how much time had passed when her aunt walked in.

"Hey sweetie."

"Hey aunt liv, I was just about to get off and head to bed." She exited out of everything. She walked over to her aunt and gave her a hug goodnight.

Liv almost gasped when she leaned in. She felt bones that could't before. Nikki leaned off her quickly.

"Love you."

Liv almost cried as she walked down the hall to her room.

"You okay baby."

"Not really, worried. Do you think Nik is to thin?"

"Somewhat, I noticed she is a little more bonier. She told me she wasn't hungry at dinner and than, I knew she lied about eating earlier."

"I think we need to confront her."

"I think so to, but let her rest, she had a another breakdown today. After I mentioned a case."

"The one about the step-father?"

"Yup."

Liv knew deep down she had to get her to talk, she couldn't let this go on any longer. She knew it was only a matter of time before something set her off. And that would be that.

"Can I see your laptop baby doll."

"Sure."

Liv opened it up and went on the internet. She started typing and she noticed unusal site. She clicked on it and gasped. She immediatly got worried, she really hoped it wasn't Amanda going to these sites. She knew she had these issues in the past and was worried she was begining to deal with them again.

She closed the laptop and went back to the bedroom to wear her hunny was.

"Amanda, we need to talk"

"Okay, your scaring me. Whats up?"

"Are you, have you been...Starving yourself again and cutting?"

"No, I promise, why?"

"Sites that where in the history log on the laptop. Show me your not, I trust you but please..."

Amanada undressed and showed her.

Liv was relieved only somewhat.

"Do you think Nikki?"

"She was on it earlier."

"That's it, we have to sit her down and talk to her."

"Okay sweetie, but we cant jump on her, it will only make matters worse. I remeber when my family did and it only made me angrier."

"Okay...I hear you, Im just really scared...For her life."

Amanda and Liv curled up into bed together and Comforted her as she cried.


	6. Im Done!

Nikki woke up. She heard the phone ring. She looked at the caller ID. It was her mom. What was she doing calling this ealier.

"Mom"

"Nikki, sweetie, something happend..."

"Mom, your scaring me..."

"Your friend Sienna, She passed away last night.."

"NO!" she shouted "Your Lying!"

"Sweetie, Im sorry"

"Iv got to go!"

She threw the phone. It cracked against the wall.

Liv and Amanda jumped when they heard it. They got up immediatly to find out what the loud sound was.

Nikki ran to the restroom and slammed the door. She grabbed an entire bottle of Tylenol. She had it. Nothing was going right. She started screaming and crying. She got fustrated she couldn't get it to open. She was lost. She wanted to end it all.

Liv ran through the door.

"Nikki, sweetie what are you doing?"

"Im done!"

Amanda ran over to her to try to get the pill bottle.

"NO! Give it"

The pill bottle slipped out of her hands and they flew everywhere.

"Nikki, sweetie please open up. I promise this is not the answer."

"My best friend is DEAD! She's gone! Nothing is going right. My world has just been shattered even more than it already was!"

"Nikki, sweetie. Im so sry."

"Nothing will every be okay. My step-dad hurt me. My friend is dead. Im ugly, disgusting, worthless and gross. She died because she starved herself to death. I helped her and told her to stay strong and thinner is the winner. Its my fault!"

"Sweetie, it not your fault."

"You don't understand, we did it together, we promised each other we would be the thinnest. No matter what it took..."

Nikki leaned in and hugged her aunt tighter than she ever has...

Amanda dialed 911. She knew Nikki was severly unstable more than she ever was. Her thoughts this whole time where comfirmed. She kenw she had an eating disorder. She was scared to know what else.

The ambulance came and took her to the hospital.

BUMM BUMMM...

Will Nikki get the help she finally needs, will they be able to help her and save her, will she try to attempt suicide again?

REVIEW!


	7. Nowhere But Up Maybe

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. I have been so busy lately with my summer job. I am only home on the weekends, except for this week. It's my week off, I will try to get another chapter up before I have to go back but I cant make any gaurentees...**

**Hope you all like...This story is kinda hard for me to write and I have to take breaks a lot...**

As they took Nikki off, Amanda was distraught in everything that had just happened. She looked around Niks room and everything was everywhere. She walked over to her bed an sat down. She open up her night stand drawer and wasn't prepared for what she found. She dug around and found a half empty laxative bottle along with a paper with her weights. As she dug a little more she found used razor blades. She started to feel gulity, questioning herself why didn't she say something sooner. She was realizing the warning signs. She had been there before herself, dealing with not only cutting but a eating disorder also...

She got up from her bed and walked to the closet. She opened the doors and found the scale, Worthless Disgusting Pig was written all over it. She wanted to cry. This girl was hurting more than anyone knew about. She dug a little deeper and found more than a dozen gallon freezer bags filled with vomit hidden and stashed.

She was so scared she was going to find something else she didn't want to see. Nikki needed help and quick before it was to late. She knew if she had almost any hope Nik would need to start talking soon.

**Mercy General Hospital**

Nik woke up later that evening, they had to sedate her when she got there to stop her from hurting herself.

She started to open her eye's everything from earlier that day was a blur.

"Aunt Liv"

"Im right here sweetie."

Liv walked over to Nik...

"Aunt Liv, Im sorry I didn't come to you sooner...I should have but I was scared. Scared no one would believe me. Slowly I started loosing it. Nothing was going right. Im sure you already know, the doctors have already have must of told you about the cuts, and the eating disorder."

"Yea, they have. They told me your levels are so low. Your body is barely hanging on with whats left. They told if you don't stop soon, your going to die."

Nikki broke down in her arms.

"I wanted to die, everything, just all of it. When I heard my best friend died I lost it, It was the last drawl. Im scared. Im not sure where to turn anymore."

"Nik, Im right here, Amanda and I, we are here for you. We arn't going anywhere."

"Im glad to her that." Tears started to flow down her face glistening ever so.

"Aunt Liv."

"Yes?"

"I think Im Ready, not sure but I think I am ready to talk to you about whats been going on..."

"Im here listening, take your time, Iv got you. I promise you I am her to protect you."

"It started 6 months ago, It was little things at first." She sighed heavily. She choked everytime she even tried to talk about it. "I remember the first time, I was standing next to him...He...He brought me close to him, and he...He asked to see my chest, I told him no... he asked me why not, daddy does stuff for you all the time...I said because your my dad...I could feel his penis it was hard on my leg. Afterwards I ran. Ran out of the house. I sat on the street corner and cried. I didn't understand. After that incident it wasn't the last of it" Nikki started crying harder.

"I cant talk anymore about it... Its Just to Hard."

"I know sweetie, but it's a start. Talking means your not hurting yourself. It means your not cutting or purging. And its a good start. Will you go to a counselor for me?"

"I don't know..."

"Im asking but part of me doesn't want to give you a choice I don't want to loose you..."

"I know, I know you dont..."

"But part of me when all this was going on, I didn't care if my bulimia killed me. I wanted it to. It was better than dealing with what was going on. I couldn't stand the thought of him touching me anymore."

"Your here now, your safe. I will never let him touch you again."

"Thank You, I just need some sort of piece of mind, and I know its not going to come for a long time..."

It was getting late. Nikki rolled over into Liv's arms and fell asleep.

Amanda came to the hospital, she was so worried about Nikki. She walked down the hall to the her room and knocked. As she entered she seen Nikki sleeping peacfully in Liv's arms.

Liv looked up.

"Shhh...Its okay go back to sleep baby, I will sleep here."

"I love You"

"Love You to."

They where both worried about Nikki. They wanted to save her. Nither of them wanted to loose her. She was hurting more than anyone could see on the outside. She acted so happy all the time. They just hoped they could help her before it's to late.


	8. Update

**A/N: Hey everyone! I know author's notes are against the rules. Please don't report me! I just wanted to let yall know I haven't been updating because I went to treatment. I didn't just stop writing the story. It triggered me. But I'm back, and healthy again, and I will be updating soon. Thank you all for the kind thoughts. **

**See ya soon!**


	9. 72 Hour Hold

Nikki woke up the next morning in her hospital bed. She looked around the room and seen her aunt liv and amanda laying next to each other. She want nothing more than to get the fuck out of this place but they put her on a 72 hour hold. Next thing she knew they where going to fatten her up to send her off to the piggy mart. She heard a knock on the door. She looked up.

"Hi, my name is Hilary, Im going to be your nutrtionist while you are here. I checked your weight and your BMI is severely under. I want to see you after they discharge you weekly for check ins and weigh in."

"FUCK OFF, im not gaining all that weight back and becoming a fat slob."

Amanda scolded her "Watch your language"

"Whatever im not eating a damn morsel, you cant make me"

Liv piped in and said she would take away her medical right and have them tube her if it came down to it.

"Whatever"

Hilary was finally able to get a word in. We are going to start you off slow so you dont get refeeding syndrome.

Nik just sat there and rolled her eyes.

Hilary could tell that she was going to have a difficult one.

For now im going to have lunch with you.

They brought in their plates and Liv and Amanda walked out. Something told them this was going to get ugly.

"How are you feeling with that plate of food in front of you?"

"Like i want to throw it at you and shut you up!"

"Okay thanks for being honest"

Nikki picked up her plate and chucked it at the wall, she was not going to let a morsel thouch her mouth.

"Im not eating ever if I cant purge it I dont want it."

Hilary knew they where going to have to tube her, she was underweight and dying her levels where severely low.

Hilary walked out of the room and went to talk to amanda and liv.

"Im afraid she isnt going to eat..."

"What do we do?"

"You can sign off she is incapable of making her own health decisions and we can tube her"

Amanda knew she wasnt going to like it and it was going to piss her off, she knew, she had been through it.

Liv just wanted to break down, she didnt want to loose Nik.

Amanda gave Liv a hug and embraced her, whispered in her ear "Its going to be okay, we are going to get through this."

Hilary brought them the papers. Liv signed off.

She went and got a nurse, they knew they where going to have to sedate her.


	10. Getting the Feeding Tube

Liv couldnt believe everything that was happening before her eyes. She wanted nothing more than to comfort her, but she knew this was going to piss her off. She went into the room and followed the nurses in after her. They where getting ready to hook her up to the feeding tube.

Liv went next to Nik and held her hand as they sedated her a lil to stop her from full on fighting it.

"Nik, I know you didn't want this sweetie but you wernt eating, we didn't know what else to do and we didn't want to loose you."

A tear fell from Nikki's eyes, this was it there was no way but up from here, she was to tired to fight it but part of her was pissed. She tried to fight it and turn her head when they went to insert.

Liv placed her hand on Nik's shoulder, and shook her head. "Stop fighting honey. Aren't you tired? Don't you want to live? Even a little bit? What happened? Talk to me please" Nikki just rolled her eyes and shrugged her aunt's hand off of her. "I can't Ok!" Liv's jaw hardened. "Listen, I know you're going through something. Something painful. I can help you. Please just let me help you"

Liv placed her hand on on Niks head to soothe her. Nik looked into her aunt's eyes. She saw nothing but love there. And she wanted to give herself over to it. But she couldn't bring herself to do so. "Aunt Liv..." Nik began. Liv leaned in closer. "I can't tell you. You would hate me. It's disgusting. I'm disgusting. So please ... please just stop" She squeaked out, her lips quivering.

Liv swallowed deeply and sighed. "What is it sweetie? I won't love you any less no matter what you tell me"

"My step-dad he abused me..." tears fell

Its okay im here for you liv soothed her.

The nurse told nik to breath and swallow as the tube went down. She couldnt believe she had let it get this far.

The nurse hooked up to the to the feeding tube bag.

Hilary walked in and Nik told her to fuck off I hate you...


	11. Loosing It

72 hours had passed and she was finally able to leave. Hilary gave Nikki a meal plan to follow. She was pissed that they where trying to fatten her up, DID THEY WANT HER TO BE UGLY AGAIN! She didnt understand why they where doing this to her. And she knew she was going to have constant supervision night and day. She was scared she wasnt going to have any privacy. But somewhere deep down she was glad that finally someone knew and that ment she didnt have to hide it all the time so hard anymore, she thought lets face it thats a lot of work.

She signed her release papers, and they headed out to Liv's car. As they went down the road she stared out the window and the song Innocent by Taylor Swift came on. She inhaled deeply. She couldnt believe it.

"Aunt Liv, do you think its a little weird that this song comes on espically at a moment like this."

"I don't think so sweeties, I believe that certain moments happen for certain reasons."

"Im glad they didnt send me home with that feeding tube though, i would have been embrassed, well I am embarassed by the who situation."

Amanda and Liv looked at each other.

Amanda turned her head "Sweetie there is nothing to ashamed of, you needed help and we are here to stick it comlpetely out."

Nik just smiled...

When Amanda turned around and she heard a voice in the back of her head she hadnt heard since she was nikki's age. "Look at those theighs, and your stomach dont even get me started." NO! she thought MIA's voice can't be back. She had got lost in her own thoughts...

Liv pulled into their driveway and looked over at Amanda when she didn't respond, Nik looked up at her she had seen the same look in her own face when the voice first started.

"AMANDA!"

Amanda startled and responded "Huh?" dumbly. Liv crinkled her eyebrow in confusion and said "I said we're home. Are you going back to work or staying?"

"I think Im going to head back to work..."

"Okay, I love you 3"

"Love you to"

Liv and Nikki walked in the house, Nikki knew her meal and ensure where to follow.

They sat down at the table and where getting ready to eat.."

Nikki just looked at her aunt like she was stupid... "Im not flippen eating this or drinking that..."

"How about you just drink your ensure for now and eat the meal later."

"FINE!"

Liv was suprised with Nikki's sudden outburst. "How were you abused?" Liv asks suddenly. Nik raised an eyebrow "C'mon aunt Liv you're a top notch detective. You do this for a living." She says sarcastically. Liv rolls her eyes and sits beside Nikki at the table. "Will you talk to me? Will you just let the walls down? I'm not going to hurt you. I'll protect you. I just want to help you" Liv says desperately. Nikki sips at her ensure with disinterest, before slamming it down on the table and standing up, glaring at her aunt. "Everyone says that" She mutters. Liv stands up and moves closer to Nik but stops when Nik begins taking steps backwards. "I'm not everyone honey. Please, please just let me help you". Nikki starts getting pissed and she's close to telling her aunt to fuck off but she realizes she could never say that to her. "I don't want to talk anymore" She says looking at the floor. She turns away to head to her room, stops and points at the bottle of ensure "Oh, yeah I'm NOT finishing that shit".

Liv huffs in irritation before calling after her. "Nikki!" She starts. "Aunt Liv!" Nik throws back.

"What the fuck do you want from me!"

As she was yelling Amanda walked right into the door to all the commotion.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?

REVIEW


	12. Falling

Amanda walked into the house, she couldn't believe what was going on, when she left they where just fine.

"Woah what in the hell is going on here?!"

"Ask Aunt Liv, she's the crazy one, bringing up shit while im trying to fucking drink an ensure."

"Look Nikki, I shouldn't have brought it up, I'm sorry"

Amanda stepped away into the bedroom to give them their space.

Nikki started to shake and dropped to the floor this was it she was really breaking down. All she really wanted was to be saved from hitting the cracks so hard to never get back up. She had held on to her eating disorder for so long she felt as if it was the only thing she could rely on, Mia had never left her side. Liv crept up next to her and held her and soothed her.

"Aunt Liv I'm broken, shattered."

"That's not true sweetie, I wish I could tell you this was an easy fix but it's not.."

Meanwhile in the bedroom Amanda could slowly feel herself slipping through the cracks again. She didn't want Liv to watch her do this. She loved her and she was already dealing with her niece who had clearly hit rock bottom. Before she could realize what she had done she pulled out a razor and slid it across her delicate skin. She pulled down her sleeve and cried herself to sleep. She was forever and always will be damaged goods from her past.

Back in the kitchen Nikki was finally about to really open up.

"Aunt Liv, he did so many things to me...I can't cope, I barely sleep, and well lets face it we know exactly how food goes."

"Sweetie what he did was wrong and not talking about it and avoiding it won't make it go away, it's just going to cause it to build up until finally something like this happens."

"Aunt Liv do you hate me, I'm so sorry I said that to you I just lost it... I think I'm ready to drink the ensure now and eat for not only my own health but so you don't lose me, I can't do that to you..."

"Okay sweetie" Liv embraced her with a strong hold to insure her that she was there and she wasn't going to leave her and or abandon her.

"Sweetie I will be right back, I'm going to go check on Amanda" She walked back the their bedroom and gasped at the scene...She couldn't believe what she was seeing right in front of her eyes.

Amanda was shaking in the bed, it looked like she was having a nightmare. When she looked more closely she could see a blood stain on her wrist from her shirt. She was scared. She didn't know how to handle all this by herself.


	13. Fastly Crumbling

"Amanda sweetie, please wake up"

"Please stop,no!"

"Amanda its just me Liv, wake up please"

Amanda jumped up in bed..

"Your safe breathe, look around, ground your feet"

Amanda looked around and inhaled deeply, she leaned over the side of the bed she felt like she was going to throw up. The nightmare seemed so real. The next think she is running to the restroom. Liv is chasing behind her. She hasn't had this problem in so long. She doesn't understand why is it all coming back up.

Meanwhile in the kitchen Nikki sat by herself, she stared at the ensure. She thought for a moment that maybe her eating and or drinking this wouldn't be so bad. She picked up the bottle and looked at it for a moment her heart began to race...

She took a sip and than another until it was all gone. She was so proud of herself.

"Aunt Liv" she yelled

"Coming Sweetie" she felt like she was being pulled and ripped into two different directions. At any moment she felt like she could scream really loud for all the hear. She walked into the kitchen and seen she had drank the ensure. She couldn't help but smile. Finally something to turn her day around. But that was all soon to change. Liv went back to the room, but it was locked.

Liv knocked on the door, "Amanda? Mandy?". She frowned as she was met with silence. "I have to get out here." Amanda said, through her tears. "Let me in." Liv begged. "No!" Amanda shouted. "What is wrong with you? Why are you cutting again?" Liv asked. "Stop fucking questioning me! I'm not a perp or a vic or your niece for fuck sake just stop!" Amanda said, punching the wall!... She stormed out of the house.

Liv didn't understand why? Everything had seem fine, but she guess truth be told it wasn't. Amanada was very emotionally unstable. As Amanda was storming out Fin and the gang at the gang was at the door. Amanda had forgot she invited them over for a big dinner.

Fin piped up "Woah, babygirl whats going on?"

"None of your damn business , I need to get out of here, I can't breath..."

"Your not going anywhere" Fin grabbed Amanda by her arm.

"LET ME GO!" She screamed and started fighting against Fin. Liv stood still in horror. She had never seen her girlfriend like this. She didn't know where all this rage and hurt was coming from.

As the commotion was going on Nikki was horrified. She didn't know what to do she wanted to run and purge as quickly as possible. But before she could get a chance Liv caught her darting for the restroom.

"Please Baby no" Liv locked the bathroom and took the key to it...

"Im scared..."

"I know baby me to.."

"Aunt Liv, is this my fault?" Nikki asked looking into Liv's eyes. She blamed herself. She felt that whatever had set Amanda off was because of her. And she felt so bad. She never wanted to hurt anyone else.

Liv shook her head, and hugged Nikki close. "No baby it's not your fault"

Tears started streaming down both of their faces as they watched Amanda's right fist connect with Fin's jaw. "I TOLD YOU TO GET OFF ME!" she screamed

Fin cracked his jaw and rubbed away the drop of blood his fat lip produced. "Damn baby girl. What the fuck is goin on wit you?" He growled. Amanda shook him off and backed away. "I told you. I'm leaving so get the hell out of my way!" She snapped

Amanda with that ran out of the house...


End file.
